Recently a regular guest writer waxed philosophic with regard to the topic of polygamy. First of all, not only is it fundamentally unfair to the polyandry lobby to push for polygamy but practically poly-anything in our presently configured society is less than the best.

You could read up on it in a sociology textbook but there is no need. I have direct experience with the subject. Namely, when my wife and daughter go on a trip together I am left alone with three female house cats. Immediately they form an oppressive feline society around me. It’s smothering but it must be similar to what I imagine a poly-something household must be like. The oldest darned cat commences to eat too much, too fast in competition with the others and then proceeds to cough it back up here and there on the wall-to-wall carpet. I have only one lap but it’s a constant contest as to which one gets to sit on it. Guess who wins? If one gets catnip they all have to have catnip. There’s no equality in the arrangements that they have come up with that I can make out while my wife and daughter are away. The oldest cat eats first, goes out the door first when they’re let out, leads the others in their sham hunts, is the last one to come back in, but decides where to sleep first, etc. Her sister felines sit watching wide eyed as she regally goes about her affairs of state and squints at them. She regularly gives a drubbing to the youngest cat just because. I am reduced to the position of being a cat butler. So in response to the polygamy discussion all one can say is “phooey.” There can’t be any peace in it. Or any real partnership or actual equality between or among the sexes if transposed to the human species. Seems to me to be a formula for oppression of the many by the few in order of seniority by marital anniversary. No thanks. Oh, and you can’t blame the Latter Day Saints for the occurrence of other-than husband and wife marriage. They must have found out right away after their earliest evangelists that it is just guaranteed a constant cat fight.

Miles F. Holden, Kirkland