Open my door, don’t pinch my fanny | Letter

Is chivalry dead?

Women should be encouraging men to be old school “gentlemen.”

Matt Damon was skewered recently in the news for saying we should talk more about guys who aren’t predators, rapists, harassers and gropers. If you can get past the knee jerk reaction to Damon’s comment, you might realize he may not be not far off from how we should be responding to the recent parade of sexual harassment allegations.

“We’re in this watershed moment and it’s great, but I think one thing that’s not being talked about is there are a whole s—tload of guys — the preponderance of men I’ve worked with — who don’t do this kind of thing and whose lives aren’t going to be affected,” Damon told Business Insider.

Women have more power than you think (or at least we did). Our femininity is fierce and fine. It can be intoxicating. But we tend to lower the standard of expectations and through the years, we have surrendered our power. It is a race to the bottom and here is what it looks like.

What if once again we expected men to be gentlemen? Might this reduce sexual misconduct and workplace harassment, while maintaining what makes us male and female: an attraction to each other?

It seems that through the years the standards have dropped so low that nearly anything goes. Gone are the days where men had to earn the affections of the woman and now they expect, and at times even demand, those affections.

Is this the fault of men entirely? I think not. I think that women have more power than they realize and yet they have surrendered that power.

Am I suggesting there is no such thing as assault, abuse or rape? Of course not — though some may jump to that extreme to buttress their position. I just think there is an even bigger societal problem and it is in how our boys and girls are being raised to treat one another.

Society treats sex cavalierly and many women have lowered the standard.

Maybe it is time to teach our girls to expect the door to be held and teach our boys to pull out that chair and control their tongue. Maybe young women should work on their inner beauty as much as much as their outer and be more selective. Maybe us women should expect some effort to earn our affections. Maybe we should make ‘em work for that first kiss. Maybe real gentlemen should be heralded and the barbaric shamed.

Positive reinforcement works well. Maybe if women would be appreciative to the man who opens the door, takes our coat, or picks up that check, we would not have to “smack” the one who pinches our fanny because he feels entitled to our body.

Just saying.

Michelle Darnell,


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