Spending the holidays with an elderly parent | Aging issues

As the holidays near and your arrangements for spending time with an elderly parent come to fruition, you may become completely overwhelmed with the details.

As the holidays near and your arrangements for spending time with an elderly parent come to fruition, you may become completely overwhelmed with the details.

From the meals, guest arrivals, gifts and overall care of your loved one, the planning strategies can cause you to become extremely preoccupied, losing sight of the opportunity to spend quality time with your parent.

Instead of getting bogged down with the details, look at the time spent with your elderly parent during the holidays as an opportunity to evaluate their living situation. If still living at home, assess their condition and take in the clues that may be right in front of your face. The clues may give rise to the fact that it is time to change the environment your parent is currently living in. While you do not want to tackle the topic of relocation during the holidays, utilize the time to assess the situation without turning a blind eye. Your careful assessment can lead to planning

for your parent’s future and prevent problems later on down the road.

So, how do you start your assessment between Christmas and New Year’s Day? The first step is to be honest with yourself and remember that the time spent with your elderly parent is an excellent opportunity to evaluate and reevaluate living arrangements and planning options for the future.

• Assess environmental clues

Look around and take a careful assessment of the home and living environment, from the point of arrival to the bathroom amenities. No, you are not snooping, but gaining insight on how your loved one lives when you are away. Is the house in desperate need of repair? Are the medications outdated in the bathroom? Is the mail and laundry piling up? Do you see an ant infestation in the pantry? Is there nutritional food, or any food, in the refrigerator?

• Make note of physical clues

Physical clues can be easy to assess, especially if you remember how your elderly parent looked the last time you were with them. Check for signs such as weight gain or weight loss, clean clothes and hygiene. If your parent’s personal grooming habits have disappeared, you will want to make note of the problem. This could be a sign that bathing or shaving has become too difficult of a task to take care of alone.

• Watch for behavioral clues

Behavioral clues can be more challenging to assess, especially if your parent is determined to live alone and catches on that you are considering moving them to another place. Does your parent seem depressed, anxious or withdrawn? Do you notice changes in mood? Has your parent become isolated over the previous months? A careful assessment of behavior can help you stay on top of the mental wellness of your elderly parent, enabling you to make the right decisions for the future.

Sandra Cook, marketing director at Aegis Lodge and Aegis of Kirkland, can be reached at 425-814-2841.